It’s a bird! A fish! A red winged blackbird! An Italian turtledove! A British crab! A Vietnamese Red Tilapia! Multiply those by the thousands and even 2 million in the case of Maryland’s Chesapeake Bay, and you’ve got what lots of conspiracy theorists are calling the “Aflockalypse.” Were the ancient Mayans right? Is the end of the world coming in 2012?

Here’s what I know, yo: I don’t have a clue. Is the sky falling and we’re turning into Tom Cruise (minus the harsh potty mouth–Tsk. Tsk.) in Magnolia? Are we set to endure a rainstorm of Kermits falling from the sky, driving us to perform crazy performance art at the world’s end? Maybe Nostradamus and the Mayans had a Bat phone connection to the Big Guy in the sky… Or maybe, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”(Mark 24:36)

I’m not gonna lie: the fish and fowl die-offs make me quake in my cowboy boots, and there was no way I could even handle watching that John Cusack movie 2012 (Truth be told, I loves me some John Cusack, too). I may have stocked up on some extra bottled water at the change of the millenium. But no matter what comes, or what theories of the day say, I honestly love a God who’s the same today as He was yesterday, so tomorrow’s gonna be all right. Right?

Right.

Not that I’m a fan of raining amphibeans and a waste of perfectly good shellfish. Not a fan.