I didn’t know Jack–Jack Bauer, that is. Until last week, the hubs and I had held out on “24” simply because we didn’t have time to be immersed in another TV show. We were devout followers of “Lost,” you see, and only very recently have we (me) felt the heavy weight of mourning lift. Sigh.

It is in a feeble attempt to replace our favorite show that we began to better acquaint ourselves with a new Jack (sniff. sniff.) Though it’s no “Lost” for me, the fact that we’re already into season two after less than a week speaks volumes I suppose. I can already sense “The Jack’s” influence over me, as I continue to ask myself, “What would Jack do here?” Or, “How would Jack handle that?”

These are some things I’ve learned while watching “24.” Beware: there may be spoilers ahead for the two of you out there who still haven’t seen the series. It’s lonely on that island, so swim on over. The water’s fine. Not life-changing like “Lost,” (in my humblest of opinions) but fantastic¬† nonetheless.

Without further ado, these are the 9 things I’ve learned from watching Jack… so far:

1. Never, ever leave the house without a fully charged mobile device. No matter the average terrorist you’re up against, Jack–along with the rest of us–should be prepared. Jack certainly depends on his mobile for everything, as do we. By the way, was “24” a continuing add for the Palm Pilot or what? Thinking Jack would definitely be using the iPhone nowadays, and the iPad would probably come in handy, too. Maybe they’d just mount something with a touch screen in his SUV…

2. Those who ask too many questions are not to be trusted. Boo, Nina. Boo! Why I oughta!

3. Never go drinking with random boys in a furniture warehouse store. Like so never. Especially if they drive nasty ’80s conversion vans. Was there shag carpeting in there, or was that just my imagination?

4. When in stressful situations, avoid food and water. I have no idea why, but I don’t recall “The Jack” ever eating or drinking. If Jack isn’t a stress eater, then maybe I should rethink those potato chips. Seriously, nobody at CTU thought to give the guy a Coke? Coffee? A bottle of water? Granola bar?

5. You may be in ‘good hands,’ but it may pigeon-hole your career. Senator Palmer, all I see is an All-State logo next to your face. You’ve got a great voice–a little too great, actually–but I think you’re stuck inside a car for me. In which case, I know a guy who could help you out…

6. No wonder women get a bad rap. Was anyone else ready to smack Sherry Palmer? She’s an embarrassment to my sex, with all that conniving and lying, and plotting to hook her husband up in an affair so she could keep tabs on him and ensure her own room service as the First Lady in the White House! Me no likey the Sherry. Boo and equal parts hiss.

7. Study up on knots. I never was a Girl Scout. I got kicked out of Brownies (there’s a story there). The one and only time I’ve been camping, it rained all night, and I somehow managed to get both food poisoning and mononucleosis. Yeah, there’s a story there, too. What I’m saying is, I lack the knowledge and know-how of knots (amongst other out-doorsy things): how to tie them, how to untie them, and how to tie up my kidnapper in them.

8. Self defense class, anyone? Watching this show makes me want to kick some SERIOUS booty–including my own.

9. Maybe I should sign up for that 5k. Jack and company are forever running to and fro. Staying fit seems an occupational hazard, which means I should probably hit the treadmill tomorrow, which means maybe I should’ve set some sort of New Year’s resolution about running.

Ouch. Hurting just thinking about it. It’s rough being Jack.