Look who has a new memoir-like-ish book Bossypants coming out on April 5. It’s the mother of the daughter Alice who coined, “I want to go to there.” That’s right. Tina Fey, the crush of Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson,  is letting the laymen in on the inner-workings of her comedic/twisted/genius mind, and I for one, am ready to say, “Yes, please! I want Cheezy Blasters! I want to go there with you to the place where Jon Hamm is at once irresistibly handsome and awkward, as only you, oh, crazy-talented ’30 Rock’ creator and writer, could make him.

Here’s a description from the publisher:

Before Liz Lemon, before “Weekend Update,” before “Sarah Palin,” Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV.

She has seen both these dreams come true.

At last, Tina Fey’s story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon — from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence.

Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we’ve all suspected: you’re no one until someone calls you bossy.

Well, count me in funny lady with the man hands. Count me in and give me five–or seven. Those hands are big enough for seven–and totally necessary for holding a Cheezy Blaster.