Master of What?

No need to beat around the bush about the obvious: I’m a sucker for: a) reality show competitions; b) Bravo TV; c) Bravo TV reality show competitions; d) ALL of the above. D-d-duh! The answer can only mean I loves me some Emmy-winning “Top Chef” (suck it, “Amazing Race”–I kid). This season’s “Top Chef All-Stars” is even better, with all of our favorite chefs (artists, really) cooking their faces off in some of the craziest challenges and under seemingly harsher conditions and time constraints. How much pressure does it take for a chef to actually pass out in her risotto before service? Let’s shave 15 minutes off and just see…

Last night’s ‘semi-finals,’ so to speak, were no different–just worse, for two my faves at least. Not gonna lie, I was thrilled to see Richard Blais (who just welcomed a second daughter into the kitchen) move on to the finale, winning the ‘last supper’ challenge. But then, dare I say it, Padma Lakshmi almost seemed downright mean, cruel even (though beautiful as ever), upon announcing what the remaining two cheftestants, Antonia Lofaso and newlywed Michael Isabella (long lost cousins in ‘real’ life), were to go BACK into the kitchen for a final Quickfire. The challenge: Only to create ‘one bite,’ one lonesome little bite, worth $200,000 (the prize for THE winner in the finale) in a mere 45 minutes. Oh, and judging? Just a bunch of nobodies: ‘Iron Chef’ Morimoto, Wolfgang Puck, Michelle Bernstein, Food and Wine magazine‘s Gail Simmons, Lakshmi, and new dad (and my forever crush) Tom Colicchio. No biggie.

Challenge winner and finalist Richard Blais’ apple streudal for Chef Wolfgang Puck. You shoulda seen his spaetzle. To DIE for.

Now, I had to rely on the old DVR last night to tell me bada** single mom Antonia was sent packing to pack her knives. Last night’s Book Club had me out late, yo, but the book of discussion, Parker J. Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation (Cheesy title. Seriously good read.) seemed so apropo, freakishly so, while watching the footage of Antonia having to lose to her smuggish cousin, Mike (love you, though, Mikey!). While fighting back tears, Antonia walked through the kitchen, flustered for the first time, saying, “All I want to do is cook. It’s all I want.”--or something strangely close to that. You get the gist.

And I couldn’t help but think how blessed she is. Yes, she lost the $200,000 and that glorious title of THE “Top Chef All-Star,” but all of that is secondary to the real prize. All this woman “wants to do is cook.” Of all the things she could be doing, filling up the hours of her life, bringing home the bacon, she has found her one true calling and passion. That is far more than most people get in their whole lifetime. Most people never get a real glimpse at what they were created to do. They never have a clue. That’s not to say Antonia seems ungrateful–she never does. A class act, that one.

Writer (not Chef Charlie) Palmer says, “It is possible to live a life other than one’s own,” to put on the “face” of what the world and even those closest to us tell us we “ought to” do with our lives. Just go make a paycheck. Provide for your family (no small thing, especially for a single parent). Forget about your dreams. In THIS reality and in REAL life, Antonia is living the dream and (#)winning big. Bravo, Mama.

Okay, that was a bad pun, but frankly, you know how we do. The “Top Chef All-Stars” finale airs next Wednesday, 10/9c on Bravo. And yes, I will most definitely ‘watch what happens.’ Oh, the puns, how they do flow.

In case you’re (probably not all) curious, I love both remaining cheftestants, so Blais on! Oops. I mean, GAME on.