It’s Ash Wednesday, folks, which could mean any number of things for all of us. Maybe nothing. Maybe a great deal. If you even slightly follow this Christian tradition in spiritual observation or just to lose a couple of pounds by giving up sugar, for instance, you know it’s a time of self-reflection, personal sacrifice, and in my mind, just a loosening of the things that can tie us down in an unhealthy way.

For me, that includes (but make NO mistake is not limited to) THE old ball-and-chain Bravo TV-style. Yes, it’s true. I’m letting go of not one, but TWO “Real Housewives of [Wherever]” with a third set to air in April. In the spirit of such a television sacrifice, I am also nixing “Bethenny Ever After,” as she (as much as she’d like to forget it) is a former Housewife. So, in short (gulp), I am cutting off Miami,Orange County, a New Yorker, and as of next month, New York.

If you know me, you know this is a big deal, and truth be told it would be much more difficult if Beverly Hills were on the air. But the time has come! I just don’t have room in my life for the back-stabbing and mid-life crises resulting in painful tattoo removals. I don’t have time for the Botox or the “I’ve just got to be me. I’ve just gotta speak my mind. It’s my turn! It’s my time! Mine! Mine! Mine! PRECIOUS!” spiel. (Funny how the facial fillers can actually result in a Golem-looking expression.) It’s just getting a lot harder to defend these women, and therefore, my devotion to “watching what happens.”

I’m trying not to judge where they’re at, but they just keep going back to a dry well. You know how I’ve loved them long time. It’s just so, so… SAD. And I don’t wanna be sad, you know? I wish them well and sincerely hope each will have some sort of personal revelation that seemingly can only come once cameras are rolling. And more than anything, I hope they’ll all find something real and true to “fill up their love tanks” once and for all. Vicki Gunvalson, I’m talking to you.

Oh, and Andy Cohen, I’m saying “Sayonara” to you as well, even though I think you’re a smart cookie businessman and kind of adorable. It’s not personal. I just won’t be needing you’re “411.”

Y’all just make me tired with all the drama.